It’s an article of faith among actors and show business professionals that, if you want to book a good job, all you have to do is buy non-refundable airline tix for anywhere. No sooner will the flight be booked and the charges made to your already overburdened, high interest Alaska Airlines Visa but a decision will be made somewhere, by some low level exec crouching behind a desk in the impenetrable labyrinth that is show business, that you alone are THE ARTIST to portray the role of the star’s former football coach in some comedy,dramedy,comedram… blah, blah, blah. And of course they will pay you twice your quote which means you will only lose a couple of hundred dollars on the deal after you miss your flight and pay your manager. Where is all this leading?

Tomorrow morning, on the day I begin my journey. I have an audition for a recurring role, on the best show on television right now. My manager assures me that my trip will not conflict with the filming dates. I believe he believes that he is telling the truth, but I know in my heart that there is a greater, more evil truth, out there, stalking me,  and preparing to drop it’s leaden gonads onto my rapidly balding head. I’ll do the reading. I’ll book the job. The schedule will be fine and all will be well. Then, when I’m half drunk in a clean, well lighted place on the Place de la Concorde,  or cavorting in a German brothel or listening to chamber music in Vienna, I’ll get an urgent text from my Manager asking if I could possibly hop a plane for LA tout suite. My head is already aching at that one.

It would be nice if things could be simpler, and I guess it’s up to me to make them so. I hope my manager forgives me for when I ignore that inevitable message.